October 2009: A Powerful Month

  As this month ends for 2012, My mind goes back to 3 years ago, 2009.  I was a college graduate living in Rock Hill, SC.  During that time, my cousin P-Nut had passed and it had began to be a turbulent month.  I had also began dating a nice gentleman and I had began to accept my own sexuality, despite what so called Christians around me had me thinking.  I was forced to dress a certain way, act a certain way, just so I wouldn't be prophesied that I was going to hell or dying of some sort of disease. That's another story for another day.
  In this month, I had just began a new job and I was working two jobs and I had began to come out of a financial rut.  However, that grace period was to be short lived.  I had to end up quitting the lesser paying job and stick with my better job, however I was being used by Church people and I was being abused mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
  It was at that point to where I stopped caring about what religious buttholes had to say and I began to find God for myself.  However, I ended up fully coming out in May of 2010.  That was a joy for me. October 2009 was a different month for me.
  After the loss of my cousin, I began to really understand that life is precious and that we must live it to the best of our abilities.  I realized that for too long I had been living for other people and by man's opinions instead of living for myself. Within the last few years, I've been making steps of breaking free of the bondage.  This October has been a new month.  It's had its challenges, but I've survived it and I realize that I am a different person inside and out.  My life has changed so much within the last few years I am grateful.  I've found myself and I'm loving this exploration.


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