Tuesday Night Moments

  As I sit and I write this blog, I am sleepy as crap and getting ready for bed.  I've had a pretty easy day and it hasn't really been eventful, thankfully.  However, today has really been a day of prayer for me.
  The last few days have been a challenge.  Many of you know the issues with my family and the fact that I've got a serious case of bitterness and anger.  I have really been praying and trying to find my faith again.  I had almost lost it.  Why?
  Well the reason being that the last few years I have been burnt by religious people. The sad part is that its been with family.  I've been at a loss for words.  I had hurled insults and curses and I had to stop myself because I wasn't following what Yahweh had told me. I had been showing my hatred and cursing those who hate me, when clearly G-D says "Bless those who curse you."  I may have to show kindness when I want to tear crap up, but I have to do it in order to show God that I can turn the other cheek.
  I'm not going to lie, I am hurting on the inside.  For so long I've valued my family's opinion and them treating me with respect, but however right now, I'm getting the doo doo end of the stick.  It hurts, but I'm to the point to where I've stop letting it affect me. Granted it is a process, but I believe that with prayer, all things are possible.
  Sometimes its unbearable, especially when you have to see and read the apparent disapproval of who you've grown to be just because it wasn't what THEY wanted for you.  It is also gets annoying when people ask favors of you but you can't get them to do crap for you.  Its VERY disturbing however, I'm gonna do like Big Mama says and "kill them with kindness."  I guess I'll have to do what I got to do to survive this mess,


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