It's a Monday and as usual, this week has started off well. I dare not complain. Over the last couple weeks, I've been getting acclimated to my new living environment. Things are much better than when I was living with dear old uncle. I've finally gotten the liberty that I needed.
I'm finally free to be who I am. I admit that I have been slack because so much has gone on in the last few months. For starters, in November, I found out that I am HIV Positive. As many of you know HIV is the virus in which your immune system has been compromised. If not treated it could possibly lead to AIDS.
I went in for routine testing right after the Thanksgiving Holidays. I will never forget that day. The tester/counselor that I'll call Mrs. Lady and I were laughing and talking but we were serious when it came to the testing procedure. Of course I went in for the Mouth Swab. GO figures, I live in the Upstate of South Carolina, so you know it is some what primitive.
Well after about 20 minutes of waiting, Mrs. Lady came back with one of those looks. I could tell that she was remaining as professional as possible. She sat down and Mrs. Lady told me news that I thought I would never hear.
"Mr. Musique, your test came back positive," She said.
After that I had tuned her out and I began to pray within myself and talk to Yahweh. I realized that some of my actions had led me to this point, but surprisingly I was at ease. It's not that I was accepting the stigma that all gay or bisexual men will contract the virus, it was just a "wow."
As apart of the routine, of course Mrs. Lady asked if I was homicidal or suicidal, which I was neither.
My reply was "I just wanna go home and eat,"which caused her to laugh. I left the office and I called my God parents and talked with them. They helped me put me at ease as well as my Bishop and Best friend.
I couldn't bring myself to be upset. However, it did cause me to be silent for a couple of days. I cried the next day on my way to work because I could hear some things that were told to me at a church in which I was gay bashed. I had a so called Prophet tell me that I would catch AIDS and die. It was rough and although I just tested positive, I knew that it was just an event in my life, but I knew that their curses weren't going to affect me.
It has been a lot to deal with right off, but I know that God is walking with me and that He isn't leaving me any time soon. I am standing on HIS word that by HIS stripes I am healed. I am thankful that HIV is not the death sentence that it used to be. I do believe that we are close to finding a cure for this pandemic. However, I am thankful that I was well educated in my teens and I continually gain knowledge.
Although I am positive, I remained optimistic that all shall be well. This is not my end, this is just my beginning.