Am I Asking For Too Much?


Wade and Noah

 Have you ever sat to yourself and gone over your list of requirements and standards for that perfect mate?  You look over the list and you start examining what's realistic and what's really something that you can't control.  Well I'm in that place right now.  I'm asking myself "am I asking for too much."
  The last couple years my relationships have lasted a couple weeks to only a few months. I've had some that seemed just right and some that were no count.  I've had some that were genuinely interested, but I guess due to the fact that I like to take my time and not rush into sex, that ran them off.  All I ask is for someone who loves me for me and accepts me for me. Someone who isn't all about getting into my cakes. What shall I do?
  One main issue is for my break ups is the fact that my personality is "too much"or the fact that I'm feminine and a drag entertainer.  Also the fact that I embrace my sexuality and the fact that I'm a lover of Yahweh.  Yes, that's the main problem.  It's a constant issue.  Whenever, dudes approach me, then we kick it a few times, then I get a text, not even a phone call, but a text saying "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I want a real dude. Not a girl."
  Really now? I'm a girl? The last time I checked I had a penis and I'm a man still. So because I'm feminine and I dress up and act to make money, then I'm not a real man.  Negro please. I am a real man. I'm doing what I have to do do survive.  I'm being up front with you, can't I at least get the same from you?  It is annoying.  Am I asking for too much?
  The main reason I get that a lot is because I attract DL men.  I don't understand it. I'm not DL aka down low, but that's what I attract and it's mostly about sex or just having a friend. Granted I'm okay with friends and sex is good, but I want more than quick nut.  I want something real. I'm tired of this hit and go relationships.  All I want is someone who is comfortable with themselves and doesn't mind a drag entertainer for a lover.
  I mean granted I've had some that didn't mind it, but it was always physical and always on some bull crap.  However, when it comes to finances and being stable some people feel like I'm a gold digger. I have 3 jobs and I'm working on my finances, so why is it that I attract gold diggers. I'm not anyone's sugar anything.  I'm still getting on my feet and focusing on me.  Am I asking for too much just to find a stable guy, who doesn't have all the issues?
  Am I thinking realistically?  I mean I like handsome faces, but I don't just look at the physical. I look at personality and how you conduct yourself throughout our acquaintance. I can always tell when one has something to hide or lies to me about stuff.  Can't a brotha get honesty?
  It's hard when people around you are booed up and you're the third or fifth wheel. Its like you feel left out of something and like everyone is focused on their babe and you're just stuck looking at all the displays of affection.  That's why I don't hang out with my friends who are married or in relationship, unless I'm just hanging out or enjoying a special occasion. I guess I just got to be patient.
  I wish the ones who claim they are interested would show a little bit more interest and effort.
  Don' t just say that you're interested. SHOW IT!!!!
AM I ASKING TOO MUCH?
  I'm like Robin S. "You've Got to Show Me Love."



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