I Can't Trust You Because You're Gay

  Unfortunately, with religious people being gay is tough.  There is so many misconceptions, stigmas, and ignorant comments made about homosexuality and hate for the LGBT Community.  With the Black Church especially, there is a hatred and a conception that the Gays are on a mission to convert others and to destroy families. It would seem that a place that was meant to show love and have a heart for all people, just like Jesus, the church tends to think less of the gays and more of the pimps in the pulpit and those he abuse the Gospel for a quick buck.
  There have been times as a musician that I've been apart of ministries that have found out that I was gay and there response was "we can help you get delivered,"  or "well we can't trust you if you're gay." Those comments not only hurt, but they pissed me off. Why should whom I choose to love and something that God placed me in conflict with my love for music and me serving God? It doesn't.
  A few years ago, as a member of Hold My Mule Holiness, a so called "Prophetess,"  embarrassed me after she found out that I was dating someone of the same gender. We were in church and no sooner than I went up for prayer for a relative she begins to prophelie that God is going to destroy me and snatch my gift away because I am a homosexual. She lied like God had told her all the private things my then lover and I had did behind closed doors. I was totally angered, upset, and ready to punch her in the face, but at that time, I didn't want to cause a scene so like a puppet I played the role, but I basically ignored her, knowing that would be my last Sunday at that hell hole. I was just plain tired.
  After church services Pastor HolierthanThou, called me into her office to have a meeting with me, which I felt was in appropriate. I was suppose to start using the facilities of Hold My Mule Holiness to teach music lessons. During the meeting, I just felt as if I didn't want to be bothered.
 Holierthanthou started the meeting by asking "how are you?"
"I'm great," I stated as if the fake prophesy had not come forth.
This heifer dove right in. "I understand that you had some personal things happen between you and an individual recently.  As a result of your actions, I can't allow you to use our facilities to conduct your music lessons because I can't trust you."
I didn't lose my composure, nor did I react . I just simply said "Okay."
She proceeded to say "I thought you were doing so well by trying to stay delivered, but I can't trust you. I don't know what kind of things you will do in this church."
Holierthanthou made it seem like I would run some type of gay rally at her church or something. What added insult to injury was that she had another minister in the meeting as well. I felt as if I was being crucified, but I would not react or give them the satisfaction that they had hurt me and offended me. I'm too good for that.
I was deeply offended. Those comments made me feel that since I am Gay that I'm some sort of deviant trying to prevert everything Good in the kingdom. My rebuttal and live saving decision came within seconds.
"Well, This is also my last day here at Hold My Mule Holiness."
"Why is that," Pastor Holierthanthou asked.
"I feel its time for me to move on and its a new season."
All she could say was "I can't make you stay."
"This is the Devil," the Minister that was in the meeting stated.
In my mind I said "Girl, you are the devil."
The Minister stated "This is not God. This is the Devil. Don't let him make you leave."
I had made my decision. "I think its best."
Holierthanthou Offered to still be there for me, but what was the use, she said she can't trust me.
After that meeting ended, I gathered my musical equipment, my Bible and other items and left my Egypt behind.
  The whole thing I gathered after I left that church was that because I'm gay, they couldn't trust me and because of religious ignorance and stupidity, I was thought to be a danger. Often times, its okay for the Gay people to sing on the choir, direct the choir, serve as an usher, but we can't testify nor can we participate on any other boards in the church. It's often a trust factor.
  Church people feel like the gays are on some kind of conquest to "convert" straight people, in which we are not. Our conquest is to be loved and treated like human beings just as Christ has commanded all human beings to be treated.  I didn't know that who I choose to love deemed me untrustworthy.  That has nothing to do with me being trustworthy.
  Its time that the church, especially the Black Church, get real that there are gay people, Open and in the closet in attendance.  There are plenty of downlow preachers and new people coming out as LGBT and proud everyday. We need to be recognized and not swept under the rug. With recent scandals with several Gospel singers something needs to be done. It's time out for the church acting like homosexuality doesn't exist. It does and its not an act or lifestyle that will send you to Hell, contrary to popular belief. We are human and there is nothing wrong with us.
  Gays are trust worthy.  We are more trustworthy than the Eddie Longs and Deitrick Haddons of society and more honest than the Donnie McClurkins in the church. It's time that the Gays be seen as Good and trustworthy not a tortured soul that can't be trusted. I'm tired of hearing stories of gays being told "Because You are Gay I Can't Trust You." You're trusting Reverend Down Low that I just slept with and he's taking all your money and spending time with me instead of his wife. POW did that hurt...I meant for it to.


  1. Good for you, Lil Buddy! Great job in handling the hypocrites! You held firm to your convictions, your dignity and your faith. A lesson lost on those deceivers! You are the true believer in this case! Much love and naked hugs!

  2. Hi, I don't often comment on blogs because everything a person writes on the internet these days is carved in public stone without mercy. Nevertheless I chose to say this to you.

    I think that the Full Gospel Ministry is very lucky to have you. You could have abandoned it and said to yourself that your lifestyle doesn't match the faith. But instead you chose the more difficult path by far. You chose to stay and to continue loving your God and practicing your religion and using your talents to bless others. I would say that that is very admirable and I hope you keep on.


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