I am Dirty

  Hi, I'm Musique and I'm HIV positive. I always thought it would never happen to be, but I got that vision shattered in 2012.  Although I am HIV Positive, I am a happy, HEALTHY, ambitious person. I'm a musician, blogger, actor, youtube Personality.
  However to some I am "Dirty."  I'm sure that many of you all have seen online dating profiles that says this "no positive dudes. Must be Clean. NO dirty booties. No tainted meat." The list could go on. Those are codes for telling people with HIV that they are not welcomed and that they are "unclean" in the eyes of the HIV Negative LGBT members. These terms are offensive and hurtful, but I refuse to let someone else's ignorance cause me harm or cause myself esteem to be low.
   To those who feel like everyone who his HIV Positive is a whore I have something to say. There are those who contracted it from intravenous drug use (contaminated needles), born with it because their mother had HIV, a cheating lover or spouse on the first time, and some may have even been raped by someone who had the virus. We do not know their story. For someone to say that people need to take responsibility for their actions, but you don't know their story, it shows how judgmental you are. So what someone made a poor decision or maybe the person trusted someone who lied to them.  They are human and they matter. They aren't "dirty." It is you who is dirty with stigma and ignorance.
   Don't get me wrong, we must all use precaution which includes being honest, wearing a condom, abstaining from sex, and getting tested regularly. How are we to know someone is being honest unless we go with them to get tested?  Think Before you Speak. Think Before You judge a person who states they are HIV positive.
  In the dating game, I've had phones hung up on me, I've been rejected, and I've been told that I'm being punished by God with HIV.  Oh well, let me jack up your theology. That is NOT the God I serve.
  Contracting HIV taught me that I must care for myself before I expect someone else to care for me. It also taught me that life is fragile and precious and we must live each day and go for our dreams, but know when to throw caution to the wind and know when to protect yourself.
  As I look at myself in the mirror, I don't see a face of HIV. I see a strong, Black, Gay, Man who loves God and has goals to reach and people to teach. I see a winner and a victor, not a victim.  Thankfully HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. For the last almost 2 years I've been undetectable and healthy. I'm level headed and I do my best to make sure others are doing well.
  If I'm dirty because of HIV then I don't need you in my life.

Comments

  1. Here here ..........I just see a talented and smart individual whose blog I enjoy reading :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great job. Our community needs to address this issue as it addressed the original pandemic...aggressively!

    ReplyDelete

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