Complications of Life

    Life can be complicated at times. It really can. Sometimes we try to find a balance, but we soon realize we can't be everything for everybody and we can't be less that the best. In life we have the ups and downs, but through it all we manage to survive.
  Life is complicated. There is no way around it. In this life we have to make sure we take time out for ourselves and get the proper rest.  There is a balance.  Even when it comes to failed relationships and attempts at relationships, we must let those be learning experiences and teach us what we deserve and what we should not put up with.  When it comes to the past, It may have hurt you, but it made you stronger, wiser, and better.
  These are the complications of life.

@NoShadeSeries: Penetration and Sin

   Get into one of the best web series to hit Youtube!  It is called "No Shade."  It is presented by Blunted Muse Productions and created by Sean Anthony. The series is LGBT themed and gives you life, DARLING!!!!

  In the fourth installment "Penetration and Sin," Noel faces off with Pastor Melvin concerning homosexualty, while Danielle gets a visit at work.  Kori and Eric are hanging out when an old friend and Kori cross paths. Girl, you betta hold on because "No Shade" is snatchin' wigs. Get into "Penetration and Sin," below.

Can He Be Fem at Home?

  Hey blogger fam,
  I wanted to pose a question. Can a man be masculine in the streets and feminine at home? 
   I saw this on Facebook and the question intrigued me. What are your thoughts?

A Transgender Child's Right to Be Recognized as a Girl

  I applaud Katie Couric for this interview. Recently she interviewed 6 year old Transgender, Coy Mathis who is fighting for her right to be recognized and treated fairly in her school system.  Born a boy, six-year-old Coy felt from the very beginning she was a girl.

The Rain's Purpose

  Hey Family and Friends,
  It's just another day in my fabulous hood.  Today it is raining and You know how I don't really do that rain. The rain often times makes me feel blah and depressed and makes me wanna just sleep all day.  It seems as if my parade has been rained on.
  The bright side to this is that no matter how much it rains, the rain is there for a reason.  The rain comes to make things grow.  So it is with trials. James 1:2-3 states that we should count it all joy when rain or trials come because we know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Whenever trials come they come to build character and to strengthen our faith in God and ourselves.
  Have you ever found your self in a rainy place and felt like it couldn't get any better, but you decided to press on and make the best of it.  Sometimes we must look at the brighter side of things.  We are surviving the rain and the storm. Why? Because God is with us.  He said he would never leave us nor forsake us.
The rain's purpose is to resurrect things in our lives that we thought were dead and to bring refreshing to us when we really need it.  The rain has purpose in your life.  There are brighter days ahead.
Musique

Me and HIV

  It's a Monday and as usual, this week has started off well.  I dare not complain.  Over the last couple weeks, I've been getting acclimated to my new living environment.  Things are much better than when I was living with dear old uncle. I've finally gotten the liberty that I needed.

  I'm finally free to be who I am.  I admit that I have been slack because so much has gone on in the last few months. For starters, in November, I found out that I am HIV Positive. As many of you know HIV is the virus in which your immune system has been compromised. If not treated it could possibly lead to AIDS.

  I went in for routine testing right after the Thanksgiving Holidays.  I will never forget that day.  The tester/counselor that I'll call Mrs. Lady and I were laughing and talking but we were serious when it came to the testing procedure.  Of course I went in for the Mouth Swab.  GO figures, I live in the Upstate of South Carolina, so you know it is some what primitive.  

 Well after about 20 minutes of waiting, Mrs. Lady came back with one of those looks.  I could tell that she was remaining as professional as possible.  She sat down and Mrs. Lady told me news that I thought I would never hear.

  "Mr. Musique, your test came back positive," She said.

  After that I had tuned her out and I began to pray within myself and talk to Yahweh.  I realized that some of my actions had led me to this point, but surprisingly I was at ease.  It's not that I was accepting the stigma that all gay or bisexual men will contract the virus, it was just a "wow."

  As apart of the routine, of course Mrs. Lady asked if I was homicidal or suicidal, which I was neither.

  My reply was "I just wanna go home and eat,"which caused her to laugh.  I left the office and I called my God parents and talked with them.  They helped me put me at ease as well as my Bishop and Best friend.

 I couldn't bring myself to be upset.  However, it did cause me to be silent for a couple of days. I cried the next day on my way to work because I could hear some things that were told to me at a church in which I was gay bashed. I had a so called Prophet tell me that I would catch AIDS and die. It was rough and although I just tested positive, I knew that it was just an event in my life,  but I knew that their curses weren't going to affect me.  

  It has been a lot to deal with right off, but I know that God is walking with me and that He isn't leaving me any time soon.  I am standing on HIS word that by HIS stripes I am healed.  I am thankful that HIV is not the death sentence that it used to be.  I do believe that we are close to finding a cure for this pandemic.  However, I am thankful that I was well educated in my teens and I continually gain knowledge.  

  Although I am positive, I remained optimistic that all shall be well. This is not my end, this is just my beginning.

  

2013: The Beginning

 What can I say about 2012? I've had breakups, make ups, shake ups, and just plan good clean old fun.  Many of you know that the last few years have proven to be of me finding myself and really discovering who I, Bradley aka Musique is.  2012 has been a year of awakenings and confessions. I've had struggles and things to transpire, but I'm still surviving.
  For 2013, I have plans to move to Maryland, repair my credit, and find myself getting out of debt. I also plan to keep myself healthy.  I've decided to alleviate as much stress as possible.  That will start with ignoring a lot of my family.  For some reason, my family feels that their opinions are suppose to scare me. NO MORE!!! That ended in 2010.  My life hasn't been better.  Unfortunately , I'm living with a bigoted, hypocritical Christian relative, I just move on with my life and continue to do me. This is a goal that I have set in 2013; Continue to live and to get away from my kindred.
  I've lost people in 2012.  I've lost friends. I've gained friends. Heck, I've even gotten in touch with my naturalist side of life.  I've even managed to say "No" to some people and things.  I've reconnected with some people and I've learned a lot of truths in 2012.  I wonder what 2013 brings.  2013 brings nothing but blessings and miracles untold.
  I could focus on the relationship that I don't have. The money that I don't have, but whats the use? I am still going forth in this life. I am thankful for what I do have.  If I'm faithful over what I have then God will make me ruler over many things. I look for the best in 2013.

IF YOU SEE RED, CLICK ON IT!!!

  Hello Everyone,

This is your boy, Musique, the owner of this blog.  Over the last month or so many of you have seen some changes in this blog.  There is a time and season for everything and for everything there is a reason.

  For starters, I have a new way of linking blog entries, artists, music, and other places I'd love for you all to visit.  For instance many of you have seen my name in the beginning sentence, it is underlined and colored red.  This is done to signify that this is a link to other blog entries, music videos, artists that we all love, and other websites that may be of some use to you all.
  I do want to thank you all for your love and support, comments, as well as the shares. You All Be Blessed. Love ya,
Musique

GET IT FOR YOURSELF!!!

  Have you ever met someone or been in a place to where you wanted or needed something and you asked someone else to get it because you were tired or either you felt like you needed help to get what you needed?    Whenever you asked someone did they tell you to "get it for yourself, fool?"
  Well I'm applying this to dreams and goals.  Whatever it is that you need or want out of your life, you have to go get it for yourself.  You can't wait on anyone else to hand it to you or to give you the things that you so desire.  You must get it for yourself. NO ONE CAN GET YOUR DREAM ACCEPT FOR YOU!!!
  Whenever we see an ambition sometimes we often times look for those who could more than likely help us, but we then realize that what we need and require is really inside of us.  That gifting that is within us, must be exercised and exercised properly.  God has given us everything that we need and it lies within us.
  You remember in Habakkuk 2:2-3  And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.  For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

  In other words, write your vision begin to work on your vision now.  It may take a while for things to come into manifestation, but you must know that you are working toward your destiny. As you walk towards your destiny, God will grant you favor and put you around the people that will catch on to your vision.  He will also show you those who do not value your vision.  I'm warning you, there will be many attempts for you to give up and many set ups and snares from the devil himself, but baby can't nobody get it for you. You must get it for yourself.
  My mind goes back to Jesus when he was heading to Calvary for our sins.  No one else could do it. Yes We could've given up, but He didn't.  Jesus knew that in order for us to be saved, He had to carry out the vision designed just for him.  We must take this example and make sure that we don't give up.  We are designed and created for a purpose  We must reach our goals no matter who goes or who comes. Regardless of who says I got this, baby YOU GOT THIS.  YOU MUST GET IT FOR YOURSELF!!!

Ain't Nothing Wrong With Me

  A few months ago, someone told me that they admired how I walk with confidence. I distinctly remember him saying "You walk like you're saying 'here I am, I am confident... I'm the sh...'" I must say, "I am the Ish!!!!."  It amazed me to see that someone else noticed my confidence despite the struggles I've had with my self-esteem over the years.
  I realize that I am wonderfully and fearfully made.  What gets me is that it seems for the last month, I've had certain groups of people tell me that I need to change my mannerisms and stuff and the fact that I'm fun, yet proper and prim, Black Male because they felt uncomfortable and felt that people will perceive me and them a certain way.  I find it funny, because I began to really see their insecurity in themselves.  I've learned that whenever people always hound you about yourself, then they are insecure with themselves.
   Due to the fact, that it is a job situation, I did have to be mindful and "play nice." However, I know I will soon be moving on from this particular group.  I smiled, but apparently, I haven't changed a bit. I'm still the same eccentric me.  If you have a problem with it. Oh Well.
  It is funny though. Over the last month or so, the enemy has really been trying to put me back in that place of low-self esteem. I refuse to go back there. It's taken me too long to get comfortable in my own skin only to have someone tell me that I don't matter because THEY don't like something. If you don't like me, then you have to take that up with God.
  I have one thing to say: AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!!

The Morning After

  Well as you all  know, President Obama has won 4 more years in the Presidential seat. I am proud and I am happy.  I knew that he could pull it off. It was a stressful event, but in the end Victory was one for this country. 

However, the morning after it seemed crazy. Here's a video about my experience at work and some other tidbits concerning the Bradley Show

Let Love In

I Love this photo of Jude Law

  Well, life has away of teaching you things.  This is the first time I'm actually talking about this, but here goes nothing.  Right now I am in the "getting to know you" stage with someone. This comes about 7 months to the day of the break up of my last relationship.  That relationship did not end well at all, but I'm over it.
  Well for the sake of privacy I'll change names. We'll call him John. John and I met last year around this time and we began to talk.  This was when I was #teamBlackBerry and was on BlackBerry Messenger. He and I would text and chat on the phone, but we lost touch. We would contact each other rarely.
  However, in the last couple months he and I have been really talking and I can see that there is an interest and a bond there.  We have some of the same interests in music, life, television, foods.  However John and I still have some differences in things concerning our background, upbringing, and view points on somethings. To me thats what makes us mesh together.
  I'm not gonna lie, I am kind of anxious and given my history in dating and some of my crazy experiences with men dating, I don't want to set myself up for failure. In the passing months since I've been single, I've gone on dates and have some that I thought were interested, but due to me not being this type of gay or that type of gay, they deemed that I wasn't worthy, when in fact they were the ones not worthy of me. However, with this one I am optimistic, but I am patient and taking my time.
  I was talking to my friend Senor Paco about this situation and he said something crucial. He simply said "Don't be afraid to let love in.  Despite all the hurt don't be afraid to open yourself to something true and genuine. Take your time like you're doing, but let your heart expand." That made me think and made me want to look for something real instead of looking for the worst.  I guess because the last few times I've been interested or tried to date, I've always gotten my face busted or I always have been out with friends and have seen that I wasn't the only one or either I was the side boo.
  Not this time.  I'm gonna let love in. Even if it doesn't work out like I want it to, I know I tried, I explored, and I've learned.  I am seriously interested in this John and I can see an interest or else we wouldn't be chatting and texting.  We are planning our first date.  The major issue is distance.  He lives a couple hours away, but I don't think that's going to be too big of a challenge.  I know all shall be well. Just have to try and see. I'm gonna let love in.
Musique

What Does Sexuality Suppose to Look Like? (Repost)

  Over the last few days, I've seen a lot about fashion, especially as it relates to sexuality.  I've seen guys from all walks of life: Black, White, Hispanic, gay, straight, religious, non-religious, hipster, emo, thug, non thug, wear skinny jeans.  I own a pair of skinny jeans. I rarely wear them because I'm super skinny and they make me look like I've starved myself to fit in a pair of jeans that are 3 sizes too small.
  However, over the weekend some bigot posted on facebook that skinny jeans make men look "gay."  Not only that I remember a few years ago when guys started wearing pink, they were labeled as soft or gay. In the back of my mind I'm thinking "it's just a piece of clothing and a color." However, the whole argument over something you were showing your sexuality is plain out stupid.  What is Gay suppose to look like and what is Straight suppose to look like?
  Is gay suppose to look like a man prancing around in a dress and tight pants with all these loud flamers in his hair? Is straight suppose to look like a man  with his pants sagging? I've heard people claim that Black men who wear skinny jeans are trying to be white and that they are just using it to cover up something. Well contrary to popular belief you have a lot of straight men who wear the skinny jeans and pull more women than these wanna be thugs out there.  The shade to this whole thing is that you have some of these boys sagging their pants getting more play from men than those who do the whole skinny jeans couture look.
  I remember when I was in high school, I was called a "whiteboy," a "sissy" a "wanna be prep," because I dressed in nice slacks, Dickies, and kept it semi professional.  Some days I would dress in a nice fitted T Shirt and jeans with flip flops.  I also was called "White Washed," because I didn't do the whole Urban wear thing. I didn't try that idea until college and it still doesn't fit me. I love the fact that I wear my clothes to fit me appropriately and that I don't have to sag to be noticed.
  Another idea of fashion identifying your sexuality could be wearing a ring on your middle finger, thumb, or index finger.  I choose to wear my rings as such because it is what fits me.  I didn't know that my sexuality pended on fashion.  Again what is gay suppose to look like? What is straight suppose to look like?
  Is gay suppose to be feminine or can it be masculine and vice versa for being straight?  Can't a man be straight and be neatly groomed?  Can't a man be straight and wear pink? Can't a man be straight and listen to house music? Can't a man be straight and be well spoken or articulate? Let's examine stereotypes and end it.
 

The Black Church: Witch Hunts

 
   Many of you are familiar with the Salem Witch Hunts that took place in the earlier part of History in which people in the Puritan Colonies would be called a witch and be put through water boarding tests and tortured which would force them into confessing.
  In today's society the witch hunt is in the Black Church and it is thrown at the Gays, Bisexuals, Down Low Men, and especially Transgender.  It is nothing new to hear a pastor in the pulpit say "I'd rather have a son that's a murderer than a sissy,"  or my personal favorite "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."  These are all things that I've grown up hearing all the time. When I was younger I didn't understand it, but now that I'm older and I am who I am, I've learned a lot more about myself and life in general.
  As I've grown and have left and have come back to the church, I've learned that in most traditional churches, there is a witch hunt much like that of the Salem Witch Hunts. Only it isn't with witchcraft, it is with homosexuality.  It seems as if the church has forgotten about all the other sins such as fornication, adultery, lust, envy, hatred, lying, stealing, covetous behaviors, just to name several.  However, homosexuality is the biggest of these.
  I find fault with this because the Bible clearly says that no sin is greater than the other.  It's all an abomination to God.  So why, pray tell, that people always wants to call out the Gays and Lesbians?  Didn't God create them and doesn't he love them as much as the thief, the liar, the adulterer, the whore, the deceiver? Through all of the religious doctrine and ex gay therapy, and I can say this from experience, there is often times where LGBT Christians are taught to hate themselves because of something that they couldn't control. As a result we have suicides and people getting married and forced into relationships in order to be accepted by so called "Christian People."
  This is not Christ like at all. The Bible teaches that we are to help and approach people out of love and not out of hate.  Why go up to a person and tell them that they are going hell, when they really just need to be told that God loves you as you are?
 It's nothing worse than coming into a church and being called a "faggot"or a "sissy" because you aren't super masculine or because you wear an earring in each ear. Not only that being called gay because you did the latest fashion trend, but the other guys in the church can do it AFTER you've done it.
  It seems today that a lot of, and I hate to say it, Self hating, Gay, Down Low Pastors and Prophets are looking to "expose" people for being gay if they listen to Lady Gaga, Beyonce, wear skinny jeans, or is the least bit androgynous for their gender.  Really? I didn't know fashion or taste in music determined your sexuality.  It even goes down to if you say certain words or if you even hang out with someone who is LGBT?  So the church has reduced itself to a judging house?  Last time I checked the Bible says not to judge lest we'll be judge in the same manner in which judged.  Yes I said it!!! I don't understand how the church became such a place where people can't come as they are without church folks looking at them side eyed and whispering or the Pastor throwing stones. Not to mention all of the "Pastor Said this and that." Honey you better study for yourself and stop listening to the Pastor like he's God himself. The Pastor is a mere man who can wrongly divide the word of God.
I guess that's all I have to say...for right now.

DESPERATE AND THIRSTY AIN'T CUTE!!!! (Repost)

Meet Ms. LoQuaisha Morae Chardonnay Johnson from The Bradley Show.  She is a trash talking, hood girl, Christian diva.  Get into the comic antics of LoQuaisha as she discusses the Thirsty and Desperate syndrome.

I Have No Words

  Right now, I have no words to say.  

I have feelings that are killing me on the inside.  

I have feelings of shock, hurt, and disgust.  

So much I want to do and 

so much harm I want to cause.

I gave you my friendship.

I gave you my heart. 

You've seen the ugly part of me.

I thought you were real,

but now you've shown your true colors.

All because I've disagreed with you,

You've gone on a campaign against me.

Yes, you've seen my flaws 

and you know some secrets,

but its funny how you want to expose me 

for a fraud,

when its you who is the fraud.

Good day, Mate,

Our friendship is dead.

Adriana Evans - Swimming

It's Okay To Laugh

7 Days of Me: Day 4: Insecurities and Joe Biden

Well, today has been a quite a day.  It is almost the end of my work week and for that I am happy!!!  As I blog, I am watching the Vice-Presidential debates.  Right now Joe Biden is hitting it and putting up a fight. However, Paul Ryan, or is it Paula? Is putting up a fight as well.  Now back to me...
  Since, this week has come in, I have been praying concerning the areas of insecurity that I am dealing with.  For some reason, things that were done and said to me during my childhood have come to make me second guess myself and make me insecure.  Even the experience that I went through with a church that I used to be apart of and that I thankfully left.
  Whenever you're used to people telling you that you are wrong for dressing this way, liking this type of music, for dancing this way, or for just being you and always being reprimanded and lied to concerning what God says, then you'd have the issues that I do.
  One incident in particular that stays in my mind was one time, I was wearing some flip flops during the Summer.  One of my uncle's told me "Don't wear them, men don't flop around." He said it with such disdain that I didn't wear them around him.  However, later on I started wearing them only to hear constant bashing about how only Gay men wore flip flops. However I did bring that situation up last Friday when he tried to corner me about drinking some Sutter Home Moscato Wine.  For some reason, I let my family control how I viewed myself and allowed them to make me insecure.
  No more.  I refuse to let what them or anyone else say or anyone else's opinion and disapproval of me.  Now I'm in a period to where I'm living and learning so I can make my own mistakes and find my own way, no matter who fights me.  I refuse to let insecurities rule my life any more.

7 Days of Me: Day 3 Its Hump Day and I've Been Pushed

  Today is Hump Day!!! It's that one day of the week that let's you know you've made it to the middle and still have a couple more days to the freaking weekend.  It may have challenges, ups and downs, but all shall be well.
  Today as apart of the 7 Days of Me plan, I've been getting in tune with myself. Today I really I had to catch myself because I was agitated at a simple mistake that I had made at work. Everything was corrected, but I was ill because My day had started out so perfect, but then this happened and that one particular co-worker worked my dangum nerves today.  However, I did like I've done most of this week, I remained prayerful.  It was difficult in all the chaos, but just as long as I was able to say "Lord, Help," or a "Thank you, Jesus," or just call on Jesus, I was okay.  I knew that if I could just make it through this shift, I would be okay.
  Today has been a day that I have been pushed to get what I need and want.  I had this realization after a situation at work.  I want a better job and I want better for myself. As I search for something better, I am looking for a better job and trying to get out of debt somewhat.  I need to have a certain amount of money by this time next year. That's why I have the chipin. If you all want to help me with anything concerning the move to DC, please do so. It is greatly appreciated.  I am determined to have all my I's dotted and my T's crossed. I'm excited where life is taking me. I believe that all shall be well. Well off to get better,
Musique