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Showing posts with the label self hatred

He's Cute, But The Femininity is Ugly

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Many of us Black Gay Men have heard the saying "no fats, no fems," and sayings such as the like.  I've heard people in my crew say " he was cute, until he sounded like a girl," or " He would be sexy if he wasn't such a queen."
   Many people confuse femininity in a Black Gay man with the over the top, Flamboyant Gay man.  A Feminine man who shares characteristics that society deem are more equated to a woman. However, a flamboyant man is "extra," over the top, loud, and often times draws unnecessary attention to themselves. Sometimes it's the excess that is unattractive.
  However, with this blog, I want to explore the fact that feminine men are often seemed as undesirable or just plain filthy or disgusting.  Well, I have news for all you "no fats, no fems," brothers out there:  We are more man that you will ever be.
  Many are asking "Musique, how can you say that." For starters we are more man than you will e…

Self Hatred and Black Gay Men: SOUND OFF Y'ALL!!!

Today, I haven't posted a picture for this entry because I really couldn't find anything, in my honest opinion, that would fit this topic. Today's topic is Self Hatred and the Black LGBT Community.   This entry stems from a post on Facebook that was a picture of some young men that appeared to be in their late teens to early twenties. They were dressed in what we call "cunt" clothes, meaning they were dressed feminine, yet stylish.  However, as I read the comments of course there was the normal "I don't mind fem dudes, but I won't date them,"  and "They look fabulous."  Some comments also encouraged the young men to express themselves.   However, one comment ticked me off royally, came from a misogynistic, self loathing, donkey's behind. He stated "I find this repulsive. They look ridiculous."  He even had the gall to state that like some of those "Sissies" as Donkey's Behind stated  From "Paris is …

I've Found It

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I've been doing some soul searching here recently and I've found the Key.  I've found the answer.  The answer and the key is letting go.
  Many of you know of my struggle with being in the church and the abuse that I've endured mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Well, although I've left the situation, some things have managed to still have a hold on me. One thing in particular is self doubt.
  Since I've come into being, I still have an issue with self doubt.  I have doubts about myself and I base myself on others' opinions and pleasing others. NO MORE!!! I've decided its time to let go of the pain and past.
  Although I'm seeking my freedom, I realize that it is a process due to the fact that a seed was planted for 5 years.  To think that for five years I hated myself, because someone hated the fact that I embraced who I was and they couldn't embrace themselves. I'm learning to love myself and move on with my life.  Its going to …

The Black Community: Why Be So Hard? (Repost)

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Why is it that the Black Community is its own worst enemy?  Why is it the often time members of the Black Community are hard on themselves?
  These are two questions that I've always wondered since I've come into the acceptance of me.  For some reason, really since high school, I noticed that for some reason I never had that many Black friends because I am "too white." Also because of the fact that I really wasn't "hood" and the fact that I lived a sheltered life, many Black people often called me a "prep," "white boy,"and my personal favorite "sissy." I got called a lot of names.
  For me, I was very academic and musical, so sports was not a major part of my life. As a Black man, I was often told that I wouldn't be "tough." However, I've grown up to be a tough man. A tough man who is Black and loves life in all its rainbow colored facets.  However, with the Black Community, I've noticed that the &q…